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past present future
Monday, May 25, 2009

i love my dad. he so funny.
k so i haven't blog for quite sometime. a lot to say actually.

what's on my mind right now?
in sch just now, i thought about my life. i thought about what i've been doing for the past 16 years that i've lived in this world. i thought about how i lived my life and how it got me to the girl i am today. i thought of how my past could actually affect my future.

it started when i was in kindergarten. i realised that i only had one close girl friend. the rest were boys. we used to play catching every morning. then i remember that i kissed a guy name imran on the cheek many times, only coz he let me. then i remember that i had a major crush on my cousin. at that time i didnt know it was weird to have a crush on your own cousin. haha. and i used to love sports day coz PPIS sports day always had ronald macdonald (: then i remember there is this pit of sand at the back of the basketball court and we all used to say there is a nenek kebayan there. and i remember there was this time a tree branch fell and hit one of my good friend till she was admitted to the hospital.

then primary school, in lower primary, i had not much problems. then in P4, i joined netball. P5, i got into the school team. played my ass off to fight for my position as a GD. stayed in that position until P6 where we won the nationals. not just that. i had my first bf then. so regret even getting my self involved! i feel stupid now.and PSLE was horrible as in my score wasnt too bad my reputation was in the drain. people started spreading rumours. i played truant on the day i had listening compre. and i ended up in counselling. omg, i hate counselling. it makes me cry! then my parents decide to leave me suffering in st.margs sec. i didnt want to go to this school coz
i knew many smps girls will be in smss and would give me a hard time.

then secondary school. firstly, i'd like to say that being in a girls school for the past 10 years of your life stinks k. you have to live with rumours, gossips, sobbings and all. i wonder what it's like to be in a mixed school sometimes. sec1 and two was ok. i got myself into a lot of shit actually but managed to overcome that. sec3, i stopped all my nonsense and started to improve a little better in my grades. and now, teachers are coming into my class saying that we're arrogant. well, i guess that explains how ugly our attitudes are towards the teachers in my school. dont say that its our parents fault for spoiling us coz, trust me, the strictest parents out there would have to agree that the problem is not that they're arrogant but it coz of their individual attitudes. if you're gonna say that we're arrogant, then what about those who studied their ass off trying to pass each of their subjects and ended up failing almost all. i dont blame the school's standard. i dont blame the teachers that teach us but i blame myself actually. i wont use the word arrogant to describe myself i think its more like im lazy. im not proud of being in a through train class. i feel that 4/8 is doing better than us but i guess its our mindset.

what about my social life?
i've been spending quite sometime with my cousins. and i like that. i never fail to try and bring my family together. my best friend ditch me. i have no idea what i did wrong. i got myself involved in a masjid camp whereby im facilitating it. i had no idea that i'd be facilitating a group of youths from the age of 13-16. well the other facils told me to lie about my age to avoid misunderstandings. oh and my birthday, spent it with my family at vivo watching x-men. i slept halfway through the movie. was damn tired. about r, i dont know what to say. i cant move on.

oh and btw, happy birthday, zirah!

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